The Women's guide to the Worldcup: surviving an England game

Ladies its that time again, it's comes round every 4 years and for many its a month of pure exhilaration and an insane adrenalin rush, but for us ladies (me excluded, sorry I am betraying you all) it is an awful sweaty and loud mess of a month, fortunately one of your own is here to help your survive this crazy time, whether it's to please your boyfriend, bond with your dad or shut your husband up I am here to make it a happy and exciting time for everyone.

Now, we all know what men are like when it comes to England and football, supporting their country is almost as important as paying their car insurance, sometimes even as important as you are to them (for just 90 mins only don't worry) so why not join them? We all need to understand the lingo, I'm not saying you need to Google the offside rule and spend endless hours trying to understand which ones the defender and which ones the attacker but it would be good to impress said person if they hear you getting involved, here's some tried and tested phrases to slip into conversations where necessary:

1) "Roy's going for some new tack-ticks": Roy Hodgson is the England manager and this is just referring to the fact he has brought some younger players (such as Ross Barkley) and new faces (such as Adam lallana) instead of choosing some players who have a lot more experience (such as Ashley Cole). This phrase is great to bring up just before the start of an England game when the line-ups are being announced, this shows them that you're paying attention and care enough to understand what is going on.

2) "We need to bring on a fresh pair of legs": This simply refers to the fact that you think a substitute player should come on. This phrase is great to use after half-time when no substitutions have been made and England need to liven up the game a bit more so they can have chances and score from them.

3) "That Daniel Welbeck is pants": Despite playing for Manchester united and being classed as one of England's up and coming stars he is to many people very overrated and should'nt be allowed to be chosen over players such as Raheem sterling (another good phrase to add in when using this one). This is good to use when ever he has the ball, unless he scores and or sets someone else up for the goal its a great way to make said person chuckle.

4) "Joe Hart, safe hands": Joe Hart if you didn't know already is the England no.1 goalkeeper, for us ladies he is a beautiful site to see indeed and its worth watching the game just to see his gorgeous face grace the television screen. This phrase is great to use when the other team try's to score and Joe has made an epic save (when he has caught it not punched it away).

5) " Stevie can carry the team": Now i'm sure you all know who Steven Gerrard is, the scouse bad boy is thankfully the captain of our beloved England squad and does a bloody good job of it too! This phrase is good to bring up before any England game (though don't repeat it before every one!) it just shows that you know he has the credentials to lead the team to victory.

Hope this help girlies, don't worry we can all get through this month just brace yourself! Also quick note don't worry the fake tanning is going well! Ill be doing a blog post soon as I can.

Love and hugs, Aimee xoxo

The Fake tan diaries: the calm before the storm

Its about time I started the old fake tan routine, unfortunately the only time I have ever worn fake tan I came out more orange than a tangerine and probably smelling like my tin of digestive biscuits. Fortunately for scientific research and for blogging material I have decided to dive right into the glorious world of fake tan and gorgeously bronzed skin. In other words I am going to be trying out a fake tanning product (or two) to break the bad fake tan tradition and to come out looking like i've spent a few weeks in the Costa del Sol soaking up the mediterranean sun.

The prospect of using fake tan scares me, however I think as long as I stick by the fake tanning rules I am going to come out of this experience unscathed. So what are the real fake tanning rules?(and or tips and tricks of the trade)

1) shower beforehand: I have been told showering beforehand is the best thing you can do because you need to wash the dirt off your body and make sure you have a clean canvas so to speak. In the shower you must exfoliate your whole body too, this may seem strange but you must do this because you need to take the dead skin cells off your body so the fake tan doesn't stick to these parts as it will be overpopulated in these areas leading to darker parts on your body compared to very light parts; In other words it will be patchy!

2) Moisturise: I often moisturise my whole body when I come out of the shower anyway so it comes as second nature to me, but you must make sure (and this is an important one) that you moisturise your elbows and knees too which are often very dry on your body and can cause the fake tan to again stick to them more; we need to stop this patchiness instantly!

3) Vaseline: This is your best friend, it may sound stupid but this will also stop patchiness in areas too as this is a very nourishing product and can be used on the face also (but make sure the fake tan can be used on your face of course, we don't want any allergic reactions, that wouldn't be attractive!)

Well, wish me luck I am definitely going to need it, and I hope you join me on my journey for the best bronzed skin the world has ever seen, or my house hold has ever seen anyway. love and hugs, Aimee xox